A Father's Expectations

There are certain things in life that I, as a father, expect of my children. Some of these, I know, are going to come across as chauvinistic or possibly sexist. I am totally fine with that. The bottom line is that there are certain things that I expect. For my son who is only 16 months old, the expectations are few at this point.

He is old enough now to play in the sandbox and therefore old enough to be subjected to one of my first expectations. He must play with a truck in the sandbox. The truck should be sturdy with thick, chunky wheels that have a proper tread for making trails in the sand. To my great pleasure, my son passed this test. (Author's note: There is a tear rolling down my cheek as I am writing this.) It is a proud, proud moment in my life as a father. A truck in the sandbox – it is like Peanut Butter & Jelly or Pizza and Wings – it is the perfect combination.

Now, let it not be said that I am total male chauvinist. If it had not worked out and he wanted to play with Dora the Explorer or Tinker Bell or whatever “girl” toys my daughters have in the sandbox, I would have been totally fine with that. The point is, he had to give the truck a try. Playing with trucks is a rite of passage for boys. In the future, if he leans towards playing my daughters' toys, so be it. So long as he is given ample opportunity to play with toys geared for his gender, I will be satisfied.

When he gets older, he will have to give Lincoln Logs a try. It is important that boys learn how to build something. I think that he will have some competition with my second daughter though. She may end up with the Lincoln Logs first. She definitely leans towards being a builder/engineer. If I had to guess , I would say one of her first projects would be building a crib for one of her baby dolls. She loves to work with her hands and stack things; but, she loves to play with baby dolls too.

I will not apologize for having expectations for what I think my children should try, and as long as they give whatever that expectation may be a try, I will be satisfied. I am not one of those parents who raises their children in a box, or according to a strict paradigm, forcing them into being something that they are not. I am going to guide my children towards what I think is right. I am going to give them every tool I can to help them succeed. But, the ultimate and final decision will end up being theirs. And so, this guidance for my son begins with him playing with a truck in a sandbox. What becomes of the truck, is up to him.